As many of you know, Doug and I have been married for five years now.
I believe, that a good part of a good relationship is understanding what your other half does in their daily life. As a marketing analyst, I thought it would be a good idea on looking at Doug’s job and realizing expectations what should come from being married to an automotive engineer.
In creating this list, and speaking with some of my friends about it, I never realized how different the away-from-the-office life of an engineer is compared to most other people.
1) He is analytical. Extremely analytical. Asking where to go for dinner, or where to get carryout delivered from is not a three-minute conversation. He will investigate everything within a 10-mile radius, what type of food they offer, and the pricing. He will also investigate average drive time and three alternate routes if traffic even remotely exists. However, you will not eat bad food. Engineers have a tendency to appreciate good food.
2) His math skills are scary. Computer scary. And you won’t understand them. This comes from the endless nights of studying for math class after math class. While most of us ended our collegiate math career at statistics, he had to go all the way to Trig III (or what I’ve later come to find out is called DiffEQ – NEVER call it by its full name. It’s the Voldemort of math classes.). But, he will manage to figure out a tip in mere seconds. Long math in his head? Done. Like I said, creepy.
3) There is no such thing as a 40 hour work week. At all. A “slow” week may consist of 50 hours put in between Monday and Friday. But a busy week? Forget about it. The day starts at 4:00 A.M. with a call to Europe. Then, after 10-12 hours in the office, it finally ends after a 9:00 P.M. call with Australia or China. That is only if there isn’t a 3:00 A.M. meeting or “We need you at (insert some city you’ve never heard of here) first thin in the morning” phone call.
4) Let him sleep, for the love of God. (Extended from the point above.) Remember finals week in college when you’d stay up studying until 4:00 A.M. for an exam at 9:00 A.M.? That is the life of an engineer every day. Nevermind the fact that while we were graduating after four years of college, they had to go an extra year since mechanical engineering is an extended degree program, this is what they still go through. Sleep for an engineer is a precious commodity. Even lounging around at home is acceptable.
5) You will very rarely hear what they do at work, and if you do, you won’t understand it. I’ve practically given up trying to understand what Doug does. The technical aspect alone is beyond my comprehension. And then there is the lingo of weird words and acronyms upon acronyms. But, that is merely part of the reality. Due to the secret nature of what they do, it’s very rare they’re willing to divulge any information. At least unless you sign a non-disclosure agreement.
6) He doesn’t fully understand a vacation. Seriously. While he will figure out the best place to go, the best stuff to do, and the best “bang for the buck”, he will undoubtedly get a phone call from work, and he will answer it without thinking twice.
7) They want to talk. The “Big Bang Theory” stereotype of engineers being quiet is total bullshit. Though be careful, as the typical engineer’s day-to-day communication style is extremely different from most people. You have to let them talk, or they will become frustrated because you have violated the logically correct procedure of communication, and forget about them picking up on 90% of body language. If you cut them off, they will go silent, and NEVER forget what he was going to say, what you said when you cut them off, and then stew on it. On the flip-side, you must explain venting to him. He will try and provide solutions to any issue you have, no matter how minute.
8) There will always be one messy room. Engineers typically have an affinity for logically setting up a room. I have given up on doing any sort of modifications without consulting, since I know my changes will be undone. Most rooms will be impeccable. But, there is always one room which looks like a tornado came through. For all that is holy, do not clean this room. Despite a slight OCD he may have regarding the other rooms, that same OCD applies here. He knows where everything is (for the most part), and God help you if you move anything.
9) You will learn the metric system. Outside of measuring snowfall and the displacement of an old Chevy, most measurements in his head are in metric. There is no alternative.
10) Your mind isn’t playing tricks on you. The (insert name of appliance here) was broken. This is partly just a man thing. Any man has the itch to repair anything that has broken. An engineer will take anything that has broken, fixed it, upgraded something, put it back together and go on his day. For two weeks, I swore to myself the blender was making noises when it magically stopped. (P.S. Engineering is magic in reality)
11) His loyalty to you is borderline creepy. Due to his analytical mind, you would have known if you weren’t right for him, or if he wasn’t right for you (yes, he will be brutally honest).
