2012 Global Car Awards For No Reason!

That's right! It's time to give out some awards.

Now, these awards were originally given out on Facebook, but with Facebook's removal of Notes, it's getting pushed to here.

Disclaimer: A decent amount of these awards are silly, but are given in all seriousness of the car itself. I have personally driven a large amount of these cars. Cars I have not drove are stated.


This has been a great year for a majority of the automakers, with nearly every automaker releasing an important vehicle. So, without further ado, time for the awards!

The "Best Car of 2012" Award

2013 Ford Focus ST

The global Focus was re-released May of 2011, giving Americans the chance to own a proper Focus again. Though, unlike the last Focus Americans were... umm... offered, this new global Focus brings an ST variant from across the pond. 

Offering a unique exterior, Recaro seats, and a 247 hp, turbocharged, 2.0L EcoBoost engine which moves the car from naught to 100 km/h in 6.5 seconds. Ford's Torque Vectoring Control seems to have a magical way to handle that power to the front end and deliver an excitable drive while maintaining to keep control in nearly all conditions. 

On the interior, unique seats and instrumentation pod are the only two major differences over the standard Focus offer a familiar feel to other cars in the Ford family. It doesn't seem too small, especially for a compact car, and the Recaro seats feel quite comfortable, with the exception of taking the car on rutted dirt roads.

The only drawback which has been noticed has been the Goodyear Eagle 1 tires which come as standard equipment. While the tires are quite grippy, the amount of grip is too much for typical driving, and easily pick up stones and throw them at the car. 

The "Mission Accomplished" Award

2013 Cadillac ATS

If you were born before 1985, or have an affinity for dumb cars, you probably remember the Cadillac Cimarron; Cadillac's last attempt at a small luxury car. To this day, even uttering the word "Cimarron" outside of reference to Philmont Scout Ranch is almost a death sentence. 

The ATS is Cadillac's first small luxury car since the death of the Cimarron in 1988. By all means, this is NO Cimarron. Built on the brand new Alpha platform, which is looking to be the future of the Camaro and CTS, allowed engineers at GM to develop a whole new car, without being restrained by the constraints of existing GM vehicles.
After several months of development, the Cadillac team unveiled  a sleek, fuel efficient, luxury car which has several styling cues from the rest of the Cadillac lineup, but something completely different.

Offering three different engines (two four-cylinders, and one V6), and two six-speed transmissions, atop the well tuned chassis, releases a 3-Series (which until the current generation used the same Hydromatic automatic transmission) fighter which appears to be taking der Deutsche down a notch or two.

On the track, this car is very well put together, but it's in regular traffic this car shines. This is Cadillac's proof you don't have to spend $70K to have an fun-eye catching car.

Why is this the "Mission Accomplished" award? Cadillac's goal was to have a small luxury car which would be a hit, and remind people that they don't rebadge cars. And they met that goal.

The "You Get A Gold Star For Trying" Award

2013 Lincoln MKZ

(Not Driven)

Unlike it's platform mate, the Ford Fusion, the new MKZ is a mish-mash of design. With much feedback criticizing the stale and Baleen Whale like design of Lincoln's lineup ended up leading to the hiring of Max Wolff, who came from a successful run at Cadillac. The result? That's still being figured out. 

The exterior design is best looked at head on. Literally. It's about the only decent view of the car. The back end looks proportionally off, and in a side view, it looks like there's about 2 dozen bowling balls in the trunk. 

Strangely enough, with the "committee designed" exterior, the MKZ provides a comfortable and ergonomically logical interior. 

So, to Mr. Wolff and the rest of the Lincoln design team: Your foot is in the grave. Stop trying to build what you're building or you're division will be as dead as the man it was named after.

The "Way Too Overhyped By The Media" Award

2013 Subaru BRZ

With a design you either love or hate, the BRZ has been the "talk about" car for 2012. Yet, with all the extremely positive press this car has received, I'd really like to know if Toyota/Subaru had given media journalists a tuned or specialized version than what the consumer would get off the line.\

This is a great car, if you don't mind numb suspension, loose steering, and a weak engine similar to what you would expect for a 10 year old Miata. (Note: This was not particular to one car, but to four)

This car could be great given an extra 30hp (turbo?), stiffer suspension, and better bushings in the steering, but until this happens, the BRZ is going to be a mediocre wannabe track racer.

The "Kirstie Alley Went Off Her Diet Again" Award

2013 Infiniti JX35

Infiniti (and Nissan) has always had a different design language which never really seemed to mesh with the rest of the industry. The new JX35 continues this tradition. Sitting on the same platform as the Maxima and Altima (in the same fashion of the Ford Explorer), Infiniti brings luxury to people mover.

Along with the Maxima, the JX35 does handle surprisingly well for a 2+ ton wagon, but it's the sheer size of the vehicle which hurts the JX. With the design proportions given make the JX35 a huge boat which pulls into gas stations with a similar effect of the Exxon-Valdez (18/23mpg). Though the size isn't the only big thing about this car, the base price starts off at a steep $42,500, but this does include amenities which would be expected in a luxury line.

The "Someone Needs A New Pair Of Glasses" Award

2014 Chevrolet Silverado

(Not Driven)

Just last week, GM unveiled the next generation Chevrolet Silverado and GMC Sierra. It's amazing how two vehicles can be based off the same components, and end up with different results (See Lincoln MKZ above). While the new Sierra has a very distinguished front end to bring it along the design language of the rest of the GMC lineup, the Silverado's exterior failed to meet the expectations of, well, anyone. While the interior has had a great and highly needed overhaul, the outside looks as if the design department spent all but $75 on the inside, leaving only a change to projector headlights and a slightly revised grille to the equation. So, I congratulate GM on releasing the 2006 Silverado for next year, but you guys definitely missed the mark on an exterior re-design. Hopefully, the frame and suspension upgrades are enough to justify the massive change. And the addition (or re-introduction) of the V6 is well expected.

The "I Hate My Life But We Have To Save The Environment" Award

2013 Toyota Prius C

It's hard to believe that the Prius, a name synonymous with hybrids, has been on sale for over a decade in the United States. Though Toyota has in it's history produced cars which scream "I hate my life" while driving down the road. The Toyota Echo is the quintessential example of this. Though, now that the Platz based Echo since 2005, it was apparently time for Toyota to come up with another self-loather: The Prius C. While the idea of the car makes perfect sense in both a market and a sales point of view, the execution was anything but. The road noise is comparable to a 1st generation Ford Escape, and the driving experience makes you feel like you're driving a box of chocolate. Just waiting for something to fall off, break, or rattle. However, Toyota's expertise in hybrids is where the car really shines. While on the surface, the fuel economy seems to match the Prius, it's in city driving where the C outperforms it's big brother. But it's at the point you remember you drive a Prius where the self loathing starts to come back.



All photos are property of their respective owners.