At the average cost of $4 million for a 30-second spot, advertisers spent over $285 million combined.
But, enough of the chit chat, it's time to get reviewing.
The following review are in order from best to worst, in my opinion.
Volkswagen - Get In. Get Happy. (A+)
Trying to beat last year's success with the Vader Kid, Volkswagen had to come up with another comedic ad to keep up. Swing and a home run for the VW team! Despite the controversy before the commercial even showed, the Minnesotan with the Jamaican accent was amazing. For some reason, whenever a white guy does any type of black accent, it's funny. Unless they're doing it to look tough. (See most downriver citizens, or anyone who frequents the Gibraltar Trade Center). The comedic value, plus the point they were getting across was perfect: Drive a Volkswagen, feel happy. Also, that Mr. Jim make wicked coffee!
Oreo - Whisper Fight (A+)
There's always something to following the rules at a library, particularly to be respectful to the others in the library. But there's something funny about taking it too far. I mean, really far. But it's completely understandable. Just like the fight between Lafayette and American, the decision between creme and cookie goes just as far. Though, it gets extended to the point of ridiculous funny when the fight gets way out of hand and the cops get involved to the point of whispering over the megaphone. C'mon, this is a library!
Budweiser - Brotherhood (A)
Turn up the "D'awww..." factor. It's been a while since Budweiser used the clydesdales in their commercials, but this one was definitely one to tug at the heartstrings. And while this didn't directly sell Budweiser directly, the association between the iconic Clydesdale and Budweiser is like baseball and, well, Budweiser. The addition of asking people to name their next colt is an effective way to get people onto their website. (My vote is for Harry Caray, for obvious reasons)
Jeep/USO - America Will Be Whole Again (A)
One of the more serious commercials in the Super Bowl, the message came from an unsurprising source. Throughout American history, there hasn't been a more liberating vehicle than the Jeep. True, Jeep hasn't been the same since the days of Willy's or AMC, but change can be good. But regardless of your political positions on the various military operations the US is currently engaged in, getting our men and women home is an operation everyone can get around.
Tide - Miracle Stain (A-)
Featuring the stain of the best 49ers player to not be featured in this Super Bowl, even though I was rooting for him anyways, can always be used for a good laugh. As silly as it is when a Hispanic maid finds Jesus in a grilled cheese, this commercial shows how far many people will go to see the 'validity' of found images, it also shows how much a rivalry can effect people. Proving the power of
Doritos - Goat 4 Sale (A-)
Anyone who has ever owned a goat can attest to the constant chewing noise. And if you're up close, that chewing noise can get annoying quite quickly. While the idea of feeding a goat isn't one I'd like to entertain, the addition of the screaming is great for the comedic value. While this was a great commercial, this isn't the first time Doritos has used revengeful animals in their ad campaigns.
Hyundai Canada - Gaspocalypse (B+)
Reminiscent of Mad Max, Hyundai Canada is pushing the fuel efficiency of Sonata Hybrid to the same premise of the post-apocalyptic films: gas is a scarce commodity. One of the better Hyundai commercials, this is enjoyable and I wouldn't mind watching it as a normal commercial. The message is clear: better gas mileage means you can go farther, and apparently you'll be a nicer guy. Though one thing did strike me as odd, why did Hyundai Canada push this commercial on an American network? (I know the reason, it just seems odd)
M&M's - Love Ballad (B+)
The unmistakeable voice of Billy West who also uses the same voice for Phillip J. Fry belting out Meatloaf's hit "I Will Do Anything For Love" to explain his new love (from previous M&M commercials) how "he won't do that" or that, or that, even though he likes it. There's something about the usage of Billy West as the dopey Red which just seems right, and the voice is recognizable as Red. And it's even better to imagine the commercial with Fry instead of Red.
Lincoln Motor Company - Phoenix (B)
When this commercial started, I needed a new pair of pants. Ooooooh.... that Town Car! Sadly, the Panther platform is extinct, and Lincoln's future starts with the newly re-designed Lincoln MKZ. One of the only luxury car commercials, this commercial pushed it's message, unfortunately it wasn't clearly received. We're looking at a brand new Lincoln. Not only as a re-named company, but new products which will hopefully extend the life of Lincoln.
Samsung Mobile - The Next Big Thing (B)
Actually, this goes for both of the Samsung commercials. Both creative and funny. The first of the two (the longer one featuring LeBron James) was an amazing poke of fun towards everyone. Jabbing at everything from using talking babies (E*Trade) or using social media to help create your ad (Lincoln), it just made it funny.
The second of the two poked fun at all of the trademarks associated with creating an ad for
Doritos - Fashonista Daddy (B)
This is definitely the commercial for those who have young girls or have ever had to watch young girls. If you play tea party or dress up with them, you're their best friend; but God help you if one of your friends ever sees one of these events. Though bribery works in all fashions, even towards daddy's tough friends. The cute factor was definitely turned up to a point even the football hollerin' dad's could understand.
Kia - Space Babies (B-)
Everyone has the theory we were told when we were younger about where babies came from. This was probably one of the most imaginative stories to add to the pile. Kia's ability to graphically pursue this not only catches everyone's childhood, but also cranks up the "D'aww..." factor with baby animals. But, what does everyone remember about this ad? Not the Kia it was advertising.
Audi - Prom (B-)
If you went to High School in Southeastern Michigan, there was one school you hated because they were all douche bags. When this commercial came one, all I could think of was "man, that must be a Brother Rice family" because nowhere else would a father let his son take out his brand new Audi. Though, the message I pulled out of this was: if you need to compensate for something, then an Audi is your automobile.
Coca-Cola - Cameras (B-)
An actually pretty decent commercial, but only one thing would have made it better: The use of "I Want To Buy The World A Coke" instead of "Live A Little Bit". It wouldn't have made it an A+ commercial, but it would have helped. This was just... average and seemed too much like a normal Coke commercial.
cars.com - Wolf (B-)
Another commercial to induce the "D'aww..." factor with a simply adorable wolf pup. But the people at cars.com must not have bought a car in the past 10 years, because it's still as much of a pain in the ass as it's always been.
Ram Trucks - Farmer (C+)
I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of crap for this, but this Ram Trucks commercial was not effective nor was it original. For example, head to the video on YouTube, you'll see two things in the comments section. 1) People are still calling it Dodge. 2) People are fighting about the validity of God.
The speech given by Paul Harvey in this video was originally given 35 years ago at an FFA convention. For many years, segments which were very similar to this commercial were aired monthly on USFR, and even frighteningly similar to a farms.com video which was uploaded to YouTube in 2011, both with the same speech playing in the background.
Though people forget that Paul Harvey gave this speech in 1978. A time where Monsanto and Cargill weren't buying up family farms (as much), and undercutting contracts which ended up closing and shuttering multi-generational farms for corporate greed.
Hyundai - Team (C+)
Not a bad commercial, but when it aired, it started to make people say "They're advertising the Santa Fe again?". But you can't blame that for a bad commercial. But it reminded me too much of The Goonies to make a valid point. I was just waiting for the fat kid to do the Truffle Shuffle the entire commercial.
Milk Producers - The Rock in Morning Run (C)
While this still doesn't have the effect of the "Got Milk?" ads from the 1990's, it's still a really fun ad. However, quite farfetched. I have never seen anyone in that dire of a need of a gallon of milk to run after a milk truck. Heck, I haven't seen a milk truck in ages. If this was a real family, it'd be more like "Dad, we're out of milk!" "Damn... All right. I'll run to Meijer after work." Though, if edited, this could work great for a daily ad for the Milk Producers.
Taco Bell - Grande Papi (C)
One of two commercials for Taco Bell, this was the better of the two. Using "Big Papa" in Spanish as the background music, it all came together nicely, even promoting the Cantina Steak Burrito appropriately as the "Big Papa" of burritos.
Calvin Klein - Concept (C)
Two obvious target audiences on this one. Watch the commercial and you'll be able to make your own review on this one.
Kia - Hotbots (C)
Fresh off the heels of NAIAS, this reminded me of the people working at the Kia booth who seemed to have nothing better to do than stand around and stare at the people looking at the cars. But, car enthusiasts connect all too well with this commercial. When someone touches/kicks the tires of your car, you just want to kick them back. Though the whole point of the fembots seemed to be a little extraneous without the explanation of the technology used within Kia vehicles.
Hyundai - Stuck (C)
If this commercial shows anything, it shows you can speed to get around vehicles no person would every drive (except maybe near the Mexican border). Though this will definitely be remembered as that Hyundai with the turbo.
Bud Light - Journey (C-)
Not exactly a bad commercial, just took too long to start. The interesting integration of the less popular religious aspects of New Orleans and Stevie Wonder. It shows the dedication and superstition some sports fans will go to 'ensure' a team win.
Century 21 - Mini Mart (D+)
Yet another commercial which took that extremely high road into bizzaro land. The utter ridiculous point that this commercial attempts to make tries way too hard, but makes the point.
Taco Bell - Viva Young (D)
A commercial which had all the ingredients to be funny and great, and ruined by the wrong song. It's not like it could have been a bad song, but using a Spanish version of "We Are Young" over-muddles the what could be good and fun out of this commercial. But entertaining the fact that senior citizens are going out and acting like the twenty-somethings typically found in Taco Bell commercials is quite funny.
Mercedes-Benz - Soul (D)
Willem Dafoe making an appearance as the devil is about the best part of this commercial. Simliar to Audi's Prom commercial, this again makes it seem like buying the CLA will make you the best person ever. Ugh.
Bud Light - Lucky Chair (D)
Back to the Journey commercial, this one pushes the VooDoo found in the bayou, except back to a point which is... wait... does this commercial have a point?
Budweiser Black Crown - Coronation (D)
So, Budweiser is making yet another beer. Hopefully they'll actually get it right. But based on this commercial, they're focusing on the Stella Artois douche bag crowd. Though, there's just enough mystery behind this commercial to actually have people go out and try this new beer. Hopefully they'll be able to hit the magic mark to actually make beer.
Budweiser Black Crown - Celebration (D-)
Similar to the Coronation commercial, but managed to talk less about the beer and talk more about nothing.
Lincoln - Once Upon A Tweet (D-)
This commercial had failure written all over it since inception. Dear Lincoln: Jimmy Fallon is NOT funny. No mentioning the car, or Lincoln itself made the whole advertising effort a waste. Although, it seemed like a better commercial for Twitter.
Pizza Hut - Hut Hut Hut (D-)
Yes Pizza Hut, we know all about Pizza and sports. But you haven't been relevant since about 1998, and repeating the "hut" doesn't help make you relevant.
Coca-Cola - Mirage (D-)
Cowboys, Oil Sheiks, and not cross-dressers? I'm sorry Coke, but when I saw that silver bus roll up, I was desperately hoping for a "Priscilla: Queen of the Desert" reference, but apparently someone pussy'd out and decided to put showgirls in the bus. Not to mention, having commercial watchers go to your website to watch the "rest of the story" is lame.
Wonderful Pistachios - Get Crackin' (D-)
It's official. Gangnam Style is dead. That parody was like a knife in the ears. However, the dirty puns prevented it from receiving a failing grade.
Hyundai - Epic Play Date (D-)
Apparently I'm just not the target audience because this thing didn't make any sense. The only thing that looked fun was taking the Santa Fe offroading.
Sketchers - GOrun2 Man vs. Cheetah (F)
Recycled from either Nike or Reebok a few years back (I can't remember which), Sketchers promises its new shoes will make you run faster. But, redoing someone elses commercial is gauche, and adding poor CGI doesn't help at all.
Best Buy - Ask Amy (F)
Just like Saturday Night Live in the 90's, this commercial relies on cheap laughs to be remotely funny. Or, it could be I'm not in the target demographic of desperate women. Or, it could be the fact that Amy Poehler just isn't that funny. Maybe it should have been retried with Tina Fey.
Toyota - Wish Granted (F)
The only wish I had at the end of that was to get that bit of time back. The whole commercial to show you guys removed the rear mounted spare tire? The one that actually looked good in that commercial and is the design keystone of the Rav4? Congrats Toyota. You are now making people think that the Rav4 no longer comes with a spare tire.
Axe - Lifeguard (F)
Axe. Please stop doing commercials. That's all.
Gildan - Getaway (F)
Congrats Gildan. You're worse than Coke on offending the whole "making viewers visit your website" bull. This should never happen.
Subway - FebruANY (F)
As if it seemed like Subway couldn't make up any more words, here comes the most unpronounceable word since "Mahna Mahna Phenomenon". It's just getting to the point where it seems like Subway is hawking all of it's subs at $5 for a foot-long for some stupid named promotional month.
Godaddy.com - Kiss (F-)
Does anyone else need a lobotomy?
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